Saturday, August 22, 2015

Avoiding the Cafeterias and Making Friends

During this week before school starts, I've had a hard time getting myself to go and eat in the cafeterias here on campus.

So far, I don't have any friends here. I know about 6 people, some of which went to my same school back home, but they were never really apart of my group of friends. Making friends isn't particularly easy for me because I'm uncomfortable going up and talking to random people, having actual conversations with someone I've just met, and being in front of other people alone (i.e. sitting alone at a table eating food).

The friends I had back at home are all very outgoing and inclusive people, so they weren't deterred by the fact that I was really quiet at the start of our relationships, and persisted until I felt comfortable with them and was able to be myself around them. They also provided me with the ability to not be alone in public. However, they didn't come to college with me!

I've set the standard for myself that I'll at least say Hi to people that I pass by. It seemed simple enough. People say Hi all the time when they walk past each other! Who knew, maybe they'd become my friend after I'd said Hi to them a few times in passing.

However, being the person that I am, I instead found myself staying in my room more often, and waiting until everyone else had left the floor or was in their room before venturing out to the bathroom or out onto campus so that I wouldn't have to say Hi to anyone.

A few nights ago, I was invited to a "Girls Night" where it was advertised that there would be a movie, facials, and the girls who came would get their nails painted if they wanted to. Now, this was exactly the kind of activity that I was prepping myself for. Because of the movie, I wouldn't have to talk to anyone for a very long time. I'm good at painting nails, so i figured that that would be a great way for people to get to know me without me having to talk to them.

As the time got closer for the event to start, I got more and more worried about it even though I was originally really excited to go. I told myself that I shouldn't arrive right on time because then I'd look to eager. I'd need to arrive fashionably late. However, "fashionably late" turned into "really really stinkin' late", but I ended up making myself go even though I was so late because I assumed that they'd all be focused on the movie and on doing each other's pamper things.

I was wrong.

I went to the room the event was meant to happen in and found out that the girls in there were apart of a sorority, and the Girl's Night had been moved somewhere else. Then, after wandering around the building getting really sweaty and upset, I found a Lounge area in the basement of the building where a large group of girls were watching a movie. Assuming this was the place, I opened the door to the room to walk in. I was behind all of the girls, who were focused on the movie in front of them, so I figured that I'd be able to come in and sit behind them all without anyone seeing how late I was.

To my dismay, the wood floors in the Lounge area let out earsplitting squeaks with every step I took! Everyone in the room turned around to stare at me, which was exactly what I was trying to avoid! I looked down and fast-walked to a chair, which also made noises as I pulled it to face the movie so that I could sit down. After everyone's attention returned back to the screen, I wished that I could get up and leave because I didn't see the girl who had invited me in the crowd and I told myself that I'd walked in on the wrong group for the 2nd time.

The movie ended soon after I got there, and I ran out right after the first few girls left and I knew it was okay to leave.

I was talking to my boyfriend about it, because it was bothering me that I was so unable to make friends on my own, and I get so upset in social situations where I don't know a single person. He told me that it's okay to make friends at my own pace, and that it's not a bad thing to wait for the outgoing people to befriend me like back at home. So, since then, I haven't been forcing myself to talk to people or to go in public on my own. And, actually, it's made it easier for me to say Hi to people when I pass by them because I'm not forcing it. I'm just letting the Hi happen when it happens when I go by!

Maybe I'll trying facing the Cafeterias next...

Friday, August 21, 2015

"Adulting" at College

So, on Sunday, I loaded everything I had spent a month packing for school into our Van so that my parents and I could leave Monday morning. After essentially playing Tetras with all my boxes and my bike, we were able to get everything organized, and I went to my friend's house for one last night with them. We made cookies (Which I ended up eating all by myself), and watched Leap Year, which is one of my all time favorite movies!

On Monday morning, my friends came over at the awful hour of 7:00 in order to see me off! We hugged and took photos and talked about how exciting it is that we're all going to start college soon. (Out of my friends, I was the first one to leave for the Fall, one of my friends had stayed for the Summer Advantage program at her school, so she'd already experienced some college life).

After driving for about 20 minutes on Monday, I got motion sick and we had to pull over. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but the drive to my school is about 7 hours minimum, so getting sick that early on was a big let down. I didn't think that I'd make it! My mom, who's a Saint, let me take her seat in the front. (She gets motion sick as well, but she slept for a lot of the drive and was perfectly fine). We stopped for lunch in a tiny town that didn't have cell service, but had the most yummy burgers in the whole world (Or at least it seemed like it at the time). By that point, we were all sick of the drive, and more than ready to be at my school. However, we still had about 2 1/2 hours left to go.

When we FINALLY arrived, my mom went with me to check in at the Front Desk for my building to get my room key and the form for any damages that are already in the room. We then parked at the closest entrance, and started hauling all my things up the stairs. You see, my room is on the 3rd floor in a building that was built in the 1940's, so it doesn't have an elevator. I was extremely appreciative of my parents, who did a majority of the work getting my things upstairs so that I'd be able to hold open the doors and unlock the door to my room over and over.

After we got everything out of my car, my dad took a well deserved brake and my mom and I worked on hanging up my clothes, making my bed, and various other things that we needed to set up. My room started to look more normal to me after we laid out my big pink rug in the middle of the room. After that, the hardest part about my room was the sink that's in the front corner. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome having a sink in my room, and I love it! It's just that it has two faucets... One for hot water and one for cold water. So if I wanted warm water I'd have to try and mix the two in a bowl or in my hands! (I actually ended up getting a small plug for my sink that makes it a lot easier to make warm water).

My parents and I made several trips to the various stores to pick up some of the things that we hadn't known I'd need ahead of time. For example. my bed is really really tall. So tall, in fact, that I can't get into it easily! We went to the store and I got a step stool, which I hadn't originally thought that I'd need! We also got various things to try and get the smell of really really fermented perfume out of the dresser so that my clothes wouldn't smell gross.

Monday night, my first night in my new bed in the Dorm, I kept waking up in the night, panicked that I had rolled off the side of my bed! After sitting up rather abruptly, I'd see that I was still very much in my bed, and not at all on the floor. Then I'd go back to sleep. The second night (Tuesday Night) was much better, I didn't wake up nearly as much.

On Tuesday, I got a tiny Cactus plant that my mom named Sir Spike McCactus, and my parents checked out of their hotel and prepped to leave. While they were with me, I was actually really happy to have their help, but I thought that I'd be perfectly content when they left because I'd be able to become a real college kid! However, after we hugged several times and they drove away from me, I went back up to my room and cried (Which sounds kind of pathetic, because most people probably can't wait for their parents to leave!). However, I remembered that they're always just a call away, and that I'm capable of being on my own because of the things that they taught me when I was growing up.

I've been able to face time my parents and my other various family members to show them my room, and the building that I'm in. They've all been extremely supportive and excited for me and the adventures that I'm bound to experience.

Yesterday, I was able to face time one of my best friends (the one who went to her school's summer advantage program) and talk to her about what's been going on here, and what I think of everything so far. We talked for about an hour. I know we would have talked longer, but her phone battery died so we weren't able to.

I've been extremely thankful for smart phones and face time this first week of school!

Today, Friday the 21st, I've had a terrible day that involved sleeping in past a mandatory class and running around like a scared deer trying to fix it. It really set in that my parents aren't here to remind me to get places on time. This is most definitely going to take some adjusting.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

My Long Distance Relationship

My boyfriend and I met November 30, 2012, on a randomized chat website. We talked for hours on it, and were so worried that we'd hit the button ending our conversation accidentally, so we decided to give each other our phone numbers! It wasn't something that either one of us had done before, but somehow we both knew that the other person wouldn't take advantage of the other. We talked nonstop for months! Then, on February 8, 2013 we decided to become an actual couple even though we'd never met in person before.

The more we talked, the more we learned about each other, the more we liked each other. He somehow learned how to calm me down when I'm anxious, and what to say to cheer me up when I got sad. To my surprise, I was able to remember the names of video games that he liked, and I learned how to get through to him when he got angry or extremely sad.

After over one year together, we were finally able to arrange for him to fly up here to visit me! I convinced my parents to let him stay at our house so that he'd be able to stay for a longer amount of time, and set up everything that he'd need in out guest room.

On the 21st of May, 2015, we met for the very first time. He was originally supposed to come at noon, but because he was flying standby he was bumped until his Dad finally broke down and bought him a ticket on the soonest open flight, which meant that he would be arriving around Midnight instead. I stayed up until then, filled with nervous excitement, and could hardly handle it when it was time to go pick him up at the airport! The whole time I was thinking What if he doesn't like me in person!? What if I don't like him in person!? And then... He was there. It was real. It was actually happening.

We had over a week to spend together, and I took him to all of the different places that I love where I live that I'd told him about a million times. We spend quite a lot of time shopping, and he put up with carrying clothes for me at the promise that we'd going swimming later on so he'd be able to see me in a swimming suit! (Although I think he secretly enjoyed shopping with me).

The hardest part was saying goodbye at the end of the trip. He left before noon, and was back home before dinner that night. We got a quick hug in the airport before he went through security and was waiting for his plane to go.

To this day, we're still as happy as can be, and working on finding another time to see each other. Hopefully, I'll be going down to visit him this next time!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Paper Towns

Paper Towns by John Green, along with the Movie that was released, are both absolutely amazing! My boyfriend bought me a copy of the book because I showed so much interest in it, and I read it so quickly that I hardly needed to use a bookmark at all! Although the Movie didn't follow the book exactly, because movies rarely do, it still stick pretty closely to the original story, and the feelings evoked while watching it were the same ones that I got while reading it.

John Green has perfectly captured adventure, mystery, and an elusive amount of romance within Paper Towns. You'll laugh, you'll worry, you'll wish you could skip to the end! Several times, I wanted to take a peek of the end of the book to find out how the mystery and the bits of romance work out., but I knew that I didn't want it to end sooner than it had to! It was quite the inner conflict!

The book and the movie were both so well made!

While reading the books, and after hearing several of my favorite quotes from the books in the movie, I realized that so many of the things that I'm guilty of doing with other people were explained perfectly. Thinking that others are more than they are, looking at my life as if I'll somehow obtain happiness in the future after I've reached a certain point, and trying really hard to stay within my comfort zone. 

There's no way for anyone who enters the world of Paper Towns to help but absolutely love all of the characters. Everything that they do is so relatable! You feel as though you've joined in, and are searching for answers with them, and have become a member of their group of friends.

What was your favorite part of Paper Towns?

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The Time to Learn

When I was a small sprout, my mom was very keen on making sure I learned how to do normal house keeping skills so that I'd know what to do when I was grown (like I am now) and living on my own (like I am now). She'd have me fold laundry, take out the trash, fill and empty the dishwasher, and how to clean the various things in our house. 

It was the most frustrating time of my childhood, because whenever I didn't know how to do something, my mom would say "well, now's a good time to learn" and then leave me to figure it out.  

How the heck was I supposed to learn how to fold laundry if I wasn't shown how!?

Now that I am living on my own, I'm really happy that I was raised with that phrase/motto in mind. My first time going grocery shopping, which doesn't seem like a very big deal, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find anything that I needed, and that I'd just wander around the store with my cart until someone asked me to leave! But I went in thinking "well, now's a good time to learn", and it all worked out great! Now, when I go grocery shopping, it's really normal to me. 

So, even though it bothered me as a child, I think it's really important to look at new things with "well, now's a good time to learn" at the forefront of your mind.

The week before school started for the year, I took a yoga class for the first time. Now, I'm not at all flexible or athletic in any way! But I made a goal to take an athletic class for fun, and I'm really happy that I did. I walked into that class felling like a fish out of water, but after getting into it, I absolutely loved to be there.

My mom not only taught me how to do housekeeping things, she also taught me a valuable way to look at new opportunities that may seem impossible at the time. Like going grocery shopping without someone showing me where everything was first.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015


Ever since I was a kid, my family has had peach trees despite the looming knowledge that the place we live in isn't the best for growing them. It's too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter, and the soil isn't particularly lovely in my area. However, that's never stopped us! We love peaches way too much!

The past several years, we've been extremely successful at taking care of the Peach Tree in our backyard, and have been able to get more and more fruit off of it every year as it increases in size. When it comes to the fruit, we have to leave them on the tree for a much longer amount of time for them to ripen enough to be picked. The hard part is keeping the birds out of them...

This year, we got several buckets full! My mom and I picked all of these, and we left the ones near the top of the tree (My mom and I are both the same height, 5 feet 5 inches, so we couldn't reach the top of the tree), and all of the fruit that had been partially eaten by birds and squirrels. We didn't have very much trouble with any insects, we found a few spiders, several slugs, and a ladybug, but that was all. 

My family cuts up the peaches into halves and freeze them in gallon Ziploc bags to freeze them. We use the frozen peaches for smoothies, homemade ice cream, and pies! Which are all super delicious! 

We ended up with 11 Ziplocs full of peach halves! We made sure to give some to our neighbors and friends.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Unknowingly Confident

A few weeks ago, I went rafting with my neighbors, and was able to talk to them quite a bit about college and their own experiences. It was really beneficial to me, because I learned the benefits of going in and seeking help from your Professor, going to school events, and joining study groups.

One of the ladies with me on the rafting trip asked about my own school, and the things that I'm worried about. I told her briefly about my confidence level, and how one of my goals in to be more confident so I'll be able to make friends easier and ask for help when I need it instead of being my typical quite and avoiding self. (I haven't been one to start conversations, or to go in after class when I needed help). After I finished, she kind of smiled and said "Well, you must already be really confident! You're going to a school that's in another state, where you don't know anyone at all, and no one can come and visit you very regularly. That shows confidence, doesn't it?"

*Exploding Noises* She blew my mind! I had no idea that I was already being confident in myself just by going to school! I thought that I would have to develop my confidence after I got there! Now, I know that I'll have to do that too, but this feels like a head start! I'm already confident enough to live fairly far away, so why not keep it going??

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

This Slow Summer

At the beginning of the summer, I didn't sign up to be an Adult Volunteer at the Zoo here because I though that I'd be able to scoop up a job really quickly, and start earning money for college. As you know, I didn't ever find a summer job. I've spent a lot of the summer stock piling all of the various things that I need for school, writing posts for this blog, and watching movies! I swear, I've watched the same 5 or 6 movies over and over the entire summer! The Help, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, Nanny McPhee, We Bought a Zoo, and maybe a few others that I don't remember... This is well and good! However, to my dismay, I've been binge watching Vlolgmas videos on youtube!

If you've read my very first posts, you know that it bothers the living daylights out of me when people bring up Christmas before December, but for some reason I can't stop watching these videos! Now, I'm not saying that I'm watching any and all Vlogmas videos, I'm watching specifically the 2014 Vlogmas videos from Meghan Rienks! And I have no idea why I love them so much! They're no particularly exciting, and she doesn't do very many particularly Christmasy things, but they're addicting! When I finish going through them, I start right back at the beginning again (because I haven't had much to do, I've watched through them all several times). 

What are your favorite things to watch in the summer?

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

A Random Quote That I Love

I really love this quote, as you can probably tell. Listening is something that I think people overlook and forget sometimes, which sounds crazy because we're almost always listening to something. It's something that we're so used to, we forget it's importance. 

There have been a lot of times when I've gotten frustrated because I wasn't being listened to, and times when people have gotten frustrated with me because I wasn't really listening to them.

I'm the type of person who, during a conversation, will remember an event or a funny story and then let myself focus on whatever it is that I've remembered instead of what the other person is saying. Quite often, it turns into a "Once they stop, I'll tell them this thing that I've remembered and they'll think it's great too!", which typically isn't the case. 

While listening to others, I've found that everyone knows things that I don't. Which means that I can learn something new from everyone! All I have to do is listen. It's also important to remember that I know things others don't, so it's important for me to remember that what I have to say is equally as valuable.

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