Thursday, April 12, 2018

"I'll Be Happy When..."

This post kind of ties in with some of my previous posts, so I wanted to include the links to them in case you wanted to check them out.
Hunt For Stability
Mental Health and Self Care in College

I know that there are probably a lot of people who have talked about this subject that have done a much better job than I ever could, but I wanted to go ahead and share what I think about it and how I've seen this play out in my own life recently.

As you may have read in some of my previous posts, I feel a lot of the time like I'm looking at the future through a peep hole and then when I reach whatever it was that I was looking at and finally see the whole picture it isn't as grand as I once thought it would be. I think that really ties in with the idea of "I'll be happy when..." because I look at those future plans as the point I need to reach to acieve happiness.

Things like "I'll be happy when I finish school", "I'll be happy once I obtain this amount of money", "I'll be happy once I have this relationship with this person".

I think the biggest thing for me was realizing that I need to find my own happiness, and what makes me happy outside of school and relationships and money, becuase at the end of the day those things aren't what bring personal/lasting happiness.

One of the things that really helped me come to that conclusion was a video posted by Will Smith where he talked about his own marriage, and what he and his wife learned about happiness when it comes to a relationship. I've linked that video below for your viewing pleasure, and to give credit where it's due.

In my own life, I've found a lot of happiness in working hard towards my education becuase it involves so many things that I'm passionate about rather than waiting for happiness to come after I've finished school. I've also realized that I need to work on being single much more than I have before I put myself into a new relationship. It's kind of mind boggling to me that I never realized that it isn't my job to make my partner happy or my partner's job to make me happy, becuase that ultimatly doesn't work like I always thought it was supposed to.

Of course, the main source of joy in my life is through the animals that I love and take care of. My boys, and the rabbits, and my various fish. There have been several times where I've wished that I could take on more animal care on top of all the other things I'm trying to do just because it brings me so much joy!

Ultimatly, I've realized that you can say "I'll be happy when..." about just about anything, and that you can keep saying that after reaching each new thing, pushing off your own happiness based on events and achievements in your life. You'll be happy when you finish school, and then after you finish school you'll be happy when you get a certain job, and then after you get that job you'll be happy when you earn a certain amount of money or get a certain promotion, and so on and so on forever.

Even though I've thought about this a lot, and am now aware of it in my own life, I still have to make a concious effort to remember to find happiness and be happy with where I am in life right now. I don't want to look back on college and wish that I had taken the time to enjoy it, or look back on every relationship that I'm in and wish that I hadn't had them, and so on. I want to be happy now, and to remember these times as being happy ones in my life.

I'm hoping that things will be better and easier for me where I'm doing my best to do the things that bring me happiness and to learn what it is that makes me the happiest before I take the time to look at relationships and money (student loans mostly) and what my future may hold.

What do you think about "I'll be happy when..." statements? Do you notice that type of thinking in your own life? I'd love to know what you think about this topic!

I'll see you on Tuesday

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