Tuesday, February 5, 2019

It's All Been A Lot - Life Update

It's February, and I haven't posted since back in November - I've really missed it!

Since November, I've had a bunch of different things going on that were basically other things that built up.

When it comes to my mental health, I'm feeling a million times better. My mental health has always been something that I've struggled with primarily because I've never felt like I had someone to talk to about it or a place to go for help. After finding someone to talk to and working to get better every day I can't even remember what it felt like being as low as I was. One of the best decisions I made was choosing to take a medication to help improve my mental health. The first medication that I tried did NOT work for me at all - it made me extremely drowsy so I was sleeping 14+ hours a day, which isn't good for a college student because I didn't have time to get anything done. I was able to change to the medication that I'm currently taking - and it's honestly a night and day difference.

One of the main things that I've set out to do in the new year is continue to work on my mental health and on my self confidence. I would love to feel a lot of self love and be able to feel happy with my life and with my decisions.

Looking at how good everything has been getting, and how great things are looking in the future, I wish that I could go back to my younger self and get her to talk to someone! I feel as though I wasted a lot of time sitting at my rock bottom thinking that that was the best that I would get.

One of my professors the previous semester sat down and said to the class that it's never to late to talk to someone, it's never too late to change the way you're living your life, it's never too late to be able to find happiness. Even though my class was really large, it really spoke to me personally. I'm glad that I was able to get the help that I need even though it took me a long time to find it.

That being said, the amount that I was sleeping and that time that I was spending on my self care left me with a less than satisfactory semester... I ended the year feeling extremely stressed, knowing that I would need to buckle down and work extra hard in Spring Semester to get my GPA back up to where I want it to be. It didn't help that I didn't have any of my classes finalized yet... I wanted to make sure that I would have classes that I could succeed in, but the closer to the start of the semester it got the more full classes became.

I found myself starting the semester wait listed on two classes, and working on switching a few others, while also working out my work schedule along with ordering - cancelling - and reordering textbooks as my classes changed and my desire to save money kept getting me to order rented/used textbooks before they were all taken.

Something that I'm really sad to put into writing is that Gus and Peanut, who have been living together well for several months now, got into a huge fight. Luckily enough I was home and with them so I could separate them right away. Gus took most of the beating, so I've been the most focused on her and making sure that she heals up okay.

For the time being, I'm planning on keeping them separated. I hope to be able to re-bond them, but I want to see if I can work out what it is that caused the fight to remedy it in the future (for example if they were fighting over food, or the housing, etc. that I can easily change) or if they simple don't get along.

Pepe is still around, but he has a growth on his underside that has been worrying me. Right now I'm working on saving up to be able to take him to the vet to make sure that the lump isn't causing any issues or any pain. From what I can tell he isn't bothered by it, he doesn't really react when I touch it, but I want to take him into the vet just to be safe.

So far 2019 has been full of highs and lows. I'm going to be working extra hard in my classes, seeing if my guinea pigs will get along again like I hope, making sure that Pepe is happy and healthy for however much longer I have him, and I've also started a new relationship... But I'm going to be keeping that under wraps for the time being.

I'm looking forward to getting back in the swing of writing posts and coming up with ideas again! I'm going to continue to be posting on Tuesdays only at 2:30 Pacific Time.

I'll see you next Tuesday!

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